Understanding Gender with Dr. Alex Iantaffi

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A generation ago, few people thought much about understanding gender.

Then, gender seemed simple and straightforward: boy or girl, male or female.

Things are different today. Merriam-Webster declared they the 2019 word of the year, and there’s increasing recognition of the fact that gender is not strictly binary.

What does this have to do with boys? Well, our boys are living in a time when it’s okay to openly discuss and think about gender. Many of our boys have peers who self-identify as gender-fluid or genderqueer — and even if they don’t have personal friends or acquaintances who are navigating the gender continuum, our sons are growing up in the world in which they (and we) can’t assume a person’s gender based on physical appearance or anything else. Also: some of us are learning that children we pegged as our daughters might actually be our sons.

For many parents (and teachers) — who grew up in times and places where gender wasn’t discussed or pondered but assumed — this “new” reality can be a bit confusing. But as Alex Iantaffi tells us, gender fluidity has been a part of human experience for millennia.

“Gender creativity has always existed across time and space,” says Dr. Iantaffi, a licensed marriage and family therapist, parent and author of numerous books about gender. “But at some point in modern science, we have developed this idea of a gender binary and now we think that’s ‘normal’ and ‘natural.'”

This is a must-listen episode for modern parents who are interested in understanding gender.

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Alex discuss:

Real-life pandemic parenting
All the terms: LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA, LGBTQ2S, cisgender, trans, non-binary, pansexual, gender fluid, intersex, heteronormative
The difference between gender & sexuality
Is the internet responsible for gender curiosity?
Gender creativity throughout history
How to support a child who is questioning gender
What to do if your boy tells you he’s a girl
Inclusive language
Protecting a gender-nonconforming child in the larger world
Harassment of trans, nonbinary and LGBTQ childre