What does Janet’s 8-month-old grandson have in common with a bunch of guys throwing darts at each other in a dark basement?
A fascination with objects moving through space — a nearly universal male tendency that Janet is witnessing in real-time as her grandson delights in pushing, pulling, and moving objects that are bigger than he is.
You can learn so much about boys by simply observing them. It’s not always easy to take (or make) time to do so — especially when you’re in the thick of parenting — but those moments of observation help you understand the boy in front of you. They help you connect, and may even help calm your overwhelmed brain.
Parenting (& child development) unfolds over time. “None of this happens over a moment or in a day,” Jen says. You don’t have to address every problem or issue immediately. Sometimes, Jen says, “the best thing you can do is go to bed.” The problem will still be there in the morning, and you’ll likely have a bit more energy and perspective.
Remember that your son’s actions are not a reflection of your parenting skills. Being a “good parent” doesn’t mean that your son will never misbehave or make ill-advised choices. It means consistently loving, supporting, and nurturing your son through it all.
In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:
- Boys’ interest in movement
- Surviving parenting
- Resisting consumer culture
- Patience & parenting
- What educators don’t know about boys
- Jen & Janet’s recent adventures
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:
Michael Gurian on Raising Boys — ON BOYS episode
Parenting, Privilege, & Building a Just World — ON BOYS episode featuring Sarah Jaffe
Holding the Calm with Hesha Abrams — ON BOYS episode (mentioned at 18:37)
Gender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS episode featuring Richard V. Reeves
Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World that Misunderstands Males — Jen’s 2nd book!
Need help with your boys?
Join Janet Allison’s real-time, monthly group coaching program, Decoding Your Boy