144: You Asked about Age 14, Implicit Bias and Sensitive Boys (Listener Q & A)


Photo by duncan c via Flickr

Our listeners ask the big, important questions!

When we put out our most recent call for listener questions, we got some heart-felt, thought-provoking, difficult-to-answer questions. Allison asked how to effectively love and support a young teen:

We have a 14 year old boy, and I’m on shifting sands. I’m trying to find balance supporting and loving him while holding boundaries for battles that feel worthy of fighting. I know you all have talked young teens before, but this is all new for me, and I’m really struggling to find my new normal now that he’s growing into a young man. We are strongly attached and have lots of love, so I’m grateful we get to start from there, but he can be combative and moody and I’m often taken aback by what new terrain this is.

Margaret wants to know more about sensitive boys. She wrote:

How about some conversation about the highly sensitive tween and tween boy? How to protect and honor and care for that gift and sensitivity, and integrate, be resilient and grow into their full masculine self in a way that honors and keeps the sensitive piece safe and ideally shares and appreciates it in helpful, meaningful, contributing ways?

Linda asks about implicit bias:

How do you help boys dealing with implicit bias, such as lower expectations from the teacher, benefit of doubt going to girls in conflict, etc.


In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:
  • Normal behavior for a 14 yr old boy
  • Parenting teens as a marathon (on shifting sands)
  • How learning & talking about the brain changes of adolescence can help parents & boys
  • Why deliberate boundaries can decrease conflict between parents & children (and co-parents!)
  • Shifting definitions of masculinity, and how to help your boy navigate them
  • How to help your boy find his tribe
  • Implicit bias against boys in schools – & how to keep it from damaging your son’s self-esteem
Links we mentioned (or should have) in Episode 144:

Episode 123: The Good News About Bad Behavior with Katherine Reynolds Lewis

American Psychological Association Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men

Episode 103: Sports and Boys Who Don’t Like Them

Episode 131: Emails & Phone Calls from Teachers

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